Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Art of Forgiveness

I'd never realized how quick I was to condemn and label people for mistakes they made. Somewhere along the way, I was taught that it was weak to forgive others, that they needed to know - for a long time - they had wronged me. But I've learned that this wastes a lot of energy and only allows me to see people from a very narrow perspective. In Zambia, forgiveness is viewed as a demonstration of strength of character. It is more Christian-like to give people a second chance, to wipe the slate clean. The following is a real life example of the art of forgiveness in practice...I know a man in Monze named Mr. Hamapa. He's well respected, patient, and committed to his family. He and his best friend, Mr. Mbewe, are always together and rely on eachother when times are tough. Unfortunately, some years ago, Mr. Mbewe - for whatever reason - stole some money from Mr. Hamapa. Mr. Hamapa and his family are by no means wealthy and losing a bit of money can sometimes mean the difference between having enough to eat that day or going without. But even in this difficult situation, Mr. Hamapa only expressed his concern over the matter to his family. They tell me that they never saw a change in the relationship between Mr. Hamapa and Mr. Mbewe. Mr. Hamapa knew his friend so well, so completely, that he was able to trust that this act of betrayal was only a small piece of Mr.Mbewe's complete character and that the knowledge of this act was punishment enough for Mr. Mbewe to feel remorse. With this faith, Mr. Hamapa didn't have to say a word to his old friend about the disappointment he felt. By maintaining their friendship, he quietly acknowledged that he understood people make mistakes and that he was willing to give him a second chance.

1 comment:

Graham Lettner said...

Jenn,

The idea that stays with me is being able to see one act, even an act of betrayal, as just a piece, a moment, of someone's character.

That's real patience to come to that perspective without rushing to cast judgement.

So, do you have an example of your own to go with this one from Monze?

Graham

PS While your writing is great, Jenn, your colour set up hurts my eyes to read it--is there a change in the works.