Everyone has a story - or two....

Hello friends,
I want to add a component to my previous note about making the effort to look beyond people's exterior. An old friend who spent time with me in Zambia raised a very important point yesterday. It concerned the example I gave of the woman who sells samosas to raise money for school. My friend questioned my representation of her, asking if I had potentially painted her as a 'person working hard for purely noble purposes' when in fact she had also used the same money to purchase a satellite dish and a home theatre system from my partner's business. One of the main reasons that I chose to use this specific, isolated incident as an example in my previous note is that I remember the exact moment when the 'samosa lady' became much more to me. This occurred after taking the time to talk with her and discovering that she had a husband and children and aspired to be a nurse. I remember that she had surprised me and the inspiration of my writing had been people who had surprised me, whether positively or negatively.
In my note, though, I may have painted a romanticized version of this Zambian woman, a mistake too often practiced by our Western society and development organizations. After reading my friend's message, I was both embarrassed and relieved. Embarrassed that I had come across as attempting to simplify a human being down to one dimension of her character - the very thing that I felt I had fought against when telling my stories of Zambia. Relieved that there are people who have the courage and insight to bring this potential misinterpretation of my writing to light. Most of the people I met in Zambia, if given the opportunities, would behave similarily to many of the people I know in Canada. Neither population is inherently more selfless, co-operative, or noble than the other. Mothers worried about their children's health, teenagers worried about the opposite sex, young adults worried about making money and having a vehicle. We really are all human, and after my time in Zambia, this belief was only solidified and my determination to learn about people's motivations and experiences only increased.

The Art of Forgiveness

I'd never realized how quick I was to condemn and label people for mistakes they made. Somewhere along the way, I was taught that it was weak to forgive others, that they needed to know - for a long time - they had wronged me. But I've learned that this wastes a lot of energy and only allows me to see people from a very narrow perspective. In Zambia, forgiveness is viewed as a demonstration of strength of character. It is more Christian-like to give people a second chance, to wipe the slate clean. The following is a real life example of the art of forgiveness in practice...I know a man in Monze named Mr. Hamapa. He's well respected, patient, and committed to his family. He and his best friend, Mr. Mbewe, are always together and rely on eachother when times are tough. Unfortunately, some years ago, Mr. Mbewe - for whatever reason - stole some money from Mr. Hamapa. Mr. Hamapa and his family are by no means wealthy and losing a bit of money can sometimes mean the difference between having enough to eat that day or going without. But even in this difficult situation, Mr. Hamapa only expressed his concern over the matter to his family. They tell me that they never saw a change in the relationship between Mr. Hamapa and Mr. Mbewe. Mr. Hamapa knew his friend so well, so completely, that he was able to trust that this act of betrayal was only a small piece of Mr.Mbewe's complete character and that the knowledge of this act was punishment enough for Mr. Mbewe to feel remorse. With this faith, Mr. Hamapa didn't have to say a word to his old friend about the disappointment he felt. By maintaining their friendship, he quietly acknowledged that he understood people make mistakes and that he was willing to give him a second chance.